Rose is a part of the past, always has been a firm part of it. No matter how much this place puts that in a less... secure place, the Doctor never thought he would see her again, ever. It never crossed his mind, he didn't allow himself to because what if she didn't and he would have been left with this hovering hope that one day she would. That he could see her again, get something like a second chance.
It's scary because he doesn't look back, he never does. But in the shape of Rose and his previous incarnation there is suddenly his past, staring him right in the face, talking to him. Rose and... Ten, are like personifications of his past, the past he keeps locked behind a door for most of the time until he needs to bring something out.
The thing is, the Doctor doesn't work through things, he never has. He drops things like they're hot coal and then he runs, runs from that and to something else. Because otherwise it hurts too much. It's useless to linger on the past because you can't interfere with your own timeline anyway, Time Lords know this very well, so what's the point?
There is no point.
But that won't change that Rose is here, and another Doctor is here, and he has to face that but he can't. And there are moments where he has thought that he should try, should do something with it because what's the point if he doesn't? It's just so difficult.
And now Rose is calling him, reaching out, when she's struggling too. Not in the same way he is, but still struggling.
When it really comes down to it, they're always the ones reaching out, not him. He doesn't reach out, not really - he offers them all of time and space, brings them along, grabs them, doesn't just offer them to take his hand. And then they wiggle their way into his heart and soul and stay there until it burns and tears at him and makes everything infinite times more beautiful and wonderful.
He takes a breath. To center himself. His response is cheerful, quick, casual. No point in showing any of it. ]
You assume right! What, you mean that kinda greeting you humans put up where you go "leave a message after the beep"? Never crossed my mind - never really had a phone before, not like this.
[ Nonsensical talking. It's distracting, comforting, like a blanket, not only for others but for him too. ]
( voice! )
Rose is a part of the past, always has been a firm part of it. No matter how much this place puts that in a less... secure place, the Doctor never thought he would see her again, ever. It never crossed his mind, he didn't allow himself to because what if she didn't and he would have been left with this hovering hope that one day she would. That he could see her again, get something like a second chance.
It's scary because he doesn't look back, he never does. But in the shape of Rose and his previous incarnation there is suddenly his past, staring him right in the face, talking to him. Rose and... Ten, are like personifications of his past, the past he keeps locked behind a door for most of the time until he needs to bring something out.
The thing is, the Doctor doesn't work through things, he never has. He drops things like they're hot coal and then he runs, runs from that and to something else. Because otherwise it hurts too much. It's useless to linger on the past because you can't interfere with your own timeline anyway, Time Lords know this very well, so what's the point?
There is no point.
But that won't change that Rose is here, and another Doctor is here, and he has to face that but he can't. And there are moments where he has thought that he should try, should do something with it because what's the point if he doesn't? It's just so difficult.
And now Rose is calling him, reaching out, when she's struggling too. Not in the same way he is, but still struggling.
When it really comes down to it, they're always the ones reaching out, not him. He doesn't reach out, not really - he offers them all of time and space, brings them along, grabs them, doesn't just offer them to take his hand. And then they wiggle their way into his heart and soul and stay there until it burns and tears at him and makes everything infinite times more beautiful and wonderful.
He takes a breath. To center himself. His response is cheerful, quick, casual. No point in showing any of it. ]
You assume right! What, you mean that kinda greeting you humans put up where you go "leave a message after the beep"? Never crossed my mind - never really had a phone before, not like this.
[ Nonsensical talking. It's distracting, comforting, like a blanket, not only for others but for him too. ]